The Heather Fund

By Jackie Roughan

Heather Vennewald, 21, was a senior at the University of Rhode Island when she committed suicide on January 21, 1996. She suffered and hid her depression from her family, friends, teachers and classmates. For no one knew about her illness and were devastated when they found out the truth about her struggles.

Vennewald’s senior year of college seemed to be going well as far as anyone knew. Josephine Vennewald, Heather’s mother, recalls the year being filled with many adventures for her daughter.

Vennewald had a friend who was studying abroad for the year in France and Vennewald decided it would be fun to go and visit her. Her parents initially couldn’t agree to the trip due to the costly price.

So Vennewald proposed that she would not receive any birthday nor Christmas presents in place of taking the trip to France. Her parents agreed and Vennewald travelled to Europe all by herself and met her friend in France.

She also went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans in February with some of her brother, Roger, work friends. Vennewald also wanted a tattoo that year but her parents were very against tattoos ad when they said ‘no’ to something that was the end of that.

But Vennewald really wanted it and decided to get it anyway. Her parents were furious when they found out but then realized there was nothing they could do about it at that point other than to just accept it. But that was the kind of spirit she had and that’s something the Vennewald family remembers about her.

Vennewald’s signs were extremely different than the classic ‘textbook’ version of depression. She had many friends and Mrs. Vennewald doesn’t recall her pulling away from her friends or isolating herself. There wasn’t a change in her clothing either.

Her parents were waiting to hear “I thought there was something different going on,” or “I thought she was struggling.” They thought they’d hear someone say that they noticed something different about her. But they didn’t, and no one ever did because she hid it so well.

“It had to be exhausting to put up a front like that,” said Mrs. Vennewald. Vennewald didn’t go to the counseling center or the student center to seek help for her depression. “She never said a word. But yet she had this struggle for quite a while because after the fact, we found her journal and she did leave a letter.”

Vennewald had left cards for her roommates thanking them for being such good friends, and she left a letter for each her brother and sister. She had planned the suicide.

It wasn’t a break up with a boyfriend and it just wasn’t something that suddenly happened, it was something that she had planned. “I was amazed that she was able to carry as long as she did,” Mrs. Vennewald said.

Vennewald died at school, in Rhode Island. There was a delay in how long it took for the family to be able to lay her to rest. There were so many students at the wake and many who came to visit the family.

Many of Vennewald’s brother’s and sister’s friends had come to support the family, but there was a great number of Vennewald’s friends who had come to give their condolences also. People whom she went to grammar school, High School, coworkers and acquaintances all had come to show their love for their beloved friend.

“It was like seeing a whole different side of her. Because we knew her as our daughter but these were her friends. These were her coworkers her roommates…” said Mrs. Vennewald.

In 1998 The Heather Fund was established. Her brother, Roger, who also had attended URI, decided that something needed to be done in her memory and thus the Heather Fund was born.

About 15 years later (three years ago), the Fund had accumulated enough money to be able to be recognized as a foundation and has been ever since.

The Heather Fund aids the URI Counseling Center as well as individual students who are in need of help but can’t wait for their insurance company that might be taking time to process.

The Fund also brings in training programs to educate University staff as well as Residential Assistants about the signs of depression and what to do in situations where students are depressed, etc. Vennewald’s parents would like to see a chapter for Active Minds on campus.

Active Minds is a nonprofit organization that promotes mental health awareness on college campuses. They have a program called “Send Silence Packing” which includes 1,100 backpacks that have photos and little biographies about students who have committed suicide all over the country.

The pictures and bios about these students makes it more personal as well as more real to see how much of a problem mental health awareness is nationwide.

“It sends a message that you need to talk. Whether you’re struggling with depression or thinking about suicide, or cutting or anything that you need to talk and get help and not be afraid to worry that people are going to think that its bad and you should be ashamed of,” Mrs. Vennewald said. “It’s not going to make it worse, it’s an opportunity to help.”

In the future, the Vennewald’s would love to see a program for incoming freshman to take. They would also like to see a service for an anonymous 800 hotline that is available 24/7 to help anyone who calls.

Having people that are educated enough to notice the signs will only benefit their peers because it’ll send a message that says “you’re not alone,” and “it’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s not something to hide.” If a student is in a place in their life and it lasts for a long time, they need to seek help. There are options that students can take and places for them to go.

On Sunday October 18, a couple months before the 20th anniversary of Vennewald’s passing, the “Be 5K Race/Walk” at URI was held for Mental Health Awareness and Suicide Prevention. All the proceeds went into the Heather Fund which then goes into the URI Counseling Center

The week of the Race/Walk, Dave Lavallee, a URI 101 instructor set up posts for his class and himself, to promote the event and also raise money for the cause. Lavallee has been promoting the annual race/walk for a couple of years now.

“Students can pay attention to their friends, people in their classes, their resident halls… People say the signs are hidden, that can be very true in many cases, but sometimes there are subtle signs you can see… any kind of thing out of the ordinary…” said Lavallee.

Students shouldn’t feel as though they need to be the experts, making a phone call to the police department or walking a student to the counseling center could be the first step in the right direction. Students don’t have to feel as though it is their responsibility to save someone, they can leave it up to the professionals and the people who are more experienced in these situations.